{"title":"Christmas Cards","description":"\u003cp\u003eNot for the weak\u003c\/p\u003e","products":[{"product_id":"merry-f-ck-this-sh-t-christmas-card","title":"Merry F-ck This Sh-t Christmas Card","description":"\u003ch2 style=\"color: #F82B2B;\"\u003eMerry F-ck This Sh-t Card: Sarcastic Adult Holiday Stationery\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003eRemember when the holiday rush, endless obligations, and family chaos become entirely too overwhelming? Just take a deep breath and yell, \"F--k this sh--t!\" Delivering the ultimate antidote to seasonal stress, the \u003cstrong\u003eMerry F-ck This Sh-t Christmas Card\u003c\/strong\u003e pairs classic holiday elegance with raw, unfiltered honesty. Framed by an ornate vintage wreath of lush evergreen boughs, golden stars, and red holly berries, this brilliant design proudly showcases the festive proclamation: \"MERRY F--K THIS SH--T.\" It is the perfect laugh for overworked coworkers, exhausted friends, and anyone suffering from festive burnout who prefers unapologetic sarcasm over predictable cheer.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003eSkip boring, mass-produced drugstore lameness in favor of a brutally honest seasonal card guaranteed to earn prime real estate on the mantel. Sized at standard \u003cstrong\u003e5\" x 7\"\u003c\/strong\u003e, each card is professionally printed on premium heavyweight luster cardstock for rich color depth, vintage texture, and a crisp, durable feel. The interior is left completely blank so you can personalize your holiday vent sessions, inside jokes, or sarcastic season's greetings, and every card comes complete with a matching white mailing envelope ready for gifting.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003ch3 style=\"color: #F82B2B;\"\u003eFunny Adult Christmas Card \u0026amp; Sarcastic Holiday Stationery Specifications\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cul\u003e\n  \u003cli\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003eDimensions:\u003c\/strong\u003e 5\" x 7\" folded\u003c\/li\u003e\n  \u003cli\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003eStock:\u003c\/strong\u003e Heavyweight luster cardstock\u003c\/li\u003e\n  \u003cli\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003eInterior:\u003c\/strong\u003e Blank for personalized handwritten messages\u003c\/li\u003e\n  \u003cli\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003eIncludes:\u003c\/strong\u003e Matching mailing envelope\u003c\/li\u003e\n  \u003cli\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003eOccasion:\u003c\/strong\u003e Sarcastic Christmas greetings, coworker holiday roasts, White Elephant exchanges, adult humor gifts\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e","brand":"The Original Underground","offers":[{"title":"Default Title","offer_id":67844765352190,"sku":"MERRYFUCKTHISSHITCARD081425","price":4.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0835\/3991\/9102\/files\/Merry-Fuck-This-Shit_Card_Mock.jpg?v=1792955751"},{"product_id":"keep-the-krampus-in-christmas-greeting-card","title":"Keep the Krampus in Christmas Greeting Card","description":"\u003ch2 style=\"color: #F82B2B;\"\u003eKeep the Krampus in Christmas Greeting Card: Funny Dark Folklore Holiday Stationery\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003eIt doesn't take the sight of a terrified child stuffed into a burlap sack to strike the true Christmas spirit into believers—or does it? Never forget what the winter season is really about with the \u003cstrong\u003eKeep the Krampus in Christmas Greeting Card\u003c\/strong\u003e. Inspired by eerie vintage European folklore postcards, this delightfully sinister design showcases the horned, cloven-hoofed demon hauling away misbehaved children while towering over an obedient girl in prayer, finished with the cheeky decree: \"Keep the Krampus in Christmas.\" It delivers wicked holiday laughs for folklore enthusiasts, dark humor lovers, and anyone exhausted by saccharine seasonal cheer.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003eSkip predictable, mass-produced drugstore cards in favor of a darkly comedic seasonal tradition guaranteed to claim prime real estate on the mantel. Measuring standard \u003cstrong\u003e5\" x 7\"\u003c\/strong\u003e, each card is professionally printed on premium heavyweight luster cardstock for rich vintage color depth and a crisp, durable finish. The interior is left completely blank so you can personalize your seasonal greetings, naughty-list warnings, or playful holiday roasts, and every card includes a matching white mailing envelope ready for gifting.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003ch3 style=\"color: #F82B2B;\"\u003eVintage Krampus Holiday Card \u0026amp; Dark Christmas Stationery Specifications\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cul\u003e\n  \u003cli\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003eDimensions:\u003c\/strong\u003e 5\" x 7\" folded\u003c\/li\u003e\n  \u003cli\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003eStock:\u003c\/strong\u003e Heavyweight luster cardstock\u003c\/li\u003e\n  \u003cli\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003eInterior:\u003c\/strong\u003e Blank for personalized handwritten messages\u003c\/li\u003e\n  \u003cli\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003eIncludes:\u003c\/strong\u003e Matching mailing envelope\u003c\/li\u003e\n  \u003cli\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003eOccasion:\u003c\/strong\u003e Krampusnacht, alternative Christmas, holiday roasts, White Elephant gifts\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e","brand":"The Original Underground","offers":[{"title":"Default Title","offer_id":67844765384958,"sku":"KEEPKRAMPUSCARD081921","price":4.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0835\/3991\/9102\/files\/keep-the-krampus-in-christmas-card-891225.jpg?v=1792955751"},{"product_id":"cats-dont-care-about-christmas-greeting-card","title":"Cats Don't Care About Christmas Greeting Card","description":"\u003ch2 style=\"color: #F82B2B;\"\u003eCats Don't Care About Christmas Greeting Card: Funny Vintage Holiday Stationery\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003eYou see these cats? They don't give a f--k about your Christmas! Though to be completely fair, they are definitely going to be \u003cem\u003every\u003c\/em\u003e interested in knocking over that decorated tree. Subverting charming mid-century holiday postcards with pure, unadulterated feline apathy, the \u003cstrong\u003eCats Don't Care About Christmas Greeting Card\u003c\/strong\u003e features two adorably fluffy kittens tucked into a festive winter boot alongside holly and candy canes, paired with a delightfully blunt reality check. It is the ultimate antidote to cookie-cutter holiday cheer for cat parents, cynical friends, and exhausted coworkers.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003eDon't bore your circle with generic, mass-produced store-bought lameness. Measuring \u003cstrong\u003e5\" x 7\"\u003c\/strong\u003e, each card is professionally printed on premium heavyweight luster greeting card stock to ensure rich color depth and crisp vintage illustration detail. Completely blank inside so you can write your own personalized holiday greetings, roasts, or heartfelt notes, every card comes paired with a matching mailing envelope ready to stand out as the undisputed favorite on the mantel.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003ch3 style=\"color: #F82B2B;\"\u003eFunny Cat Novelty Christmas Greeting Card Specifications\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cul\u003e\n  \u003cli\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003eDimensions:\u003c\/strong\u003e 5\" x 7\" folded card size\u003c\/li\u003e\n  \u003cli\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003ePaper Stock:\u003c\/strong\u003e High-quality heavyweight luster greeting card stock\u003c\/li\u003e\n  \u003cli\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003eInterior:\u003c\/strong\u003e Completely blank inside for personalized messages and custom notes\u003c\/li\u003e\n  \u003cli\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003ePackaging:\u003c\/strong\u003e Includes matching paper mailing envelope\u003c\/li\u003e\n  \u003cli\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003eDesign:\u003c\/strong\u003e Retro mid-century kittens in Santa boot with funny anti-holiday quote\u003c\/li\u003e\n  \u003cli\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003eFinish:\u003c\/strong\u003e Rich luster finish with vibrant festive red saturation and crisp detail\u003c\/li\u003e\n  \u003cli\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003eApplication:\u003c\/strong\u003e Holiday greetings, white elephant gift exchanges, cat lovers, and coworker cards\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e","brand":"The Original Underground","offers":[{"title":"Default Title","offer_id":67844765483262,"sku":"CATSDONTGIVEAFUCKXMASCARD083121","price":4.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0835\/3991\/9102\/files\/Cats-Dont-Care-About-Christmas_Card_Photo.jpg?v=1792955753"},{"product_id":"merry-christmas-ya-cotton-headed-ninnymuggins-greeting-card","title":"Merry Christmas Ya Cotton-Headed Ninnymuggins Greeting Card","description":"\u003ch2 style=\"color: #FF0000;\"\u003eMerry Christmas Ya Cotton-Headed Ninnymuggins Card: Funny Elf Holiday Card\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eGeneric glitter-drenched holiday greetings and sappy family newsletters belong straight in the recycling bin. The \"Merry Christmas Ya Cotton-Headed Ninnymuggins\" Greeting Card serves as the premier funny holiday gift for cynical coworkers, sarcastic siblings, and die-hard holiday comedy buffs. Featuring Buddy the Elf sporting his manic, wide-eyed grin against festive North Pole pine, this cult-classic movie card roasts your favorite recipient with cinema’s most devastating festive insult before the eggnog even gets poured.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eWhether you need an unforgettable white elephant gag gift, a cheeky stocking stuffer, or an alternative seasonal greeting that actually stands out on the fireplace mantel, this novelty card skips mass-produced holiday lameness. Professionally printed on premium 5x7 heavyweight luster cardstock, it offers rich color saturation and a crisp hand-feel. The interior is completely blank, leaving plenty of room to map out an entire day of sugar binges or write a personalized roast. Includes a matching white envelope.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003ch3 style=\"color: #FF0000;\"\u003eMerry Christmas Ya Cotton-Headed Ninnymuggins Greeting Card Specifications:\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cul\u003e\n  \u003cli\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003eDimensions:\u003c\/strong\u003e 5\" x 7\" (folded)\u003c\/li\u003e\n  \u003cli\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003eMaterial:\u003c\/strong\u003e Heavyweight luster cardstock\u003c\/li\u003e\n  \u003cli\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003eInterior:\u003c\/strong\u003e Blank\u003c\/li\u003e\n  \u003cli\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003eInclusions:\u003c\/strong\u003e Matching white mailing envelope\u003c\/li\u003e\n  \u003cli\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003ePrint:\u003c\/strong\u003e Full-color exterior\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e","brand":"The Original Underground","offers":[{"title":"Default Title","offer_id":67844765581566,"sku":"ELFXMASCARDCOTTON020322","price":4.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0835\/3991\/9102\/files\/merry-christmas-ya-cotton-headed-ninnymuggins-greeting-card-5899700.jpg?v=1792955753"},{"product_id":"im-glad-you-didnt-die-heres-some-socks-christmas-card","title":"I'm Glad You Didn't Die, Here's Some Socks Christmas Card","description":"\u003ch2 style=\"color: #F82B2B;\"\u003eI'm Glad You Didn't Die, Here's Some Socks Card: Funny Holiday Survival Stationery\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003eAnother chaotic year is officially in the books, and you survived against all odds! Celebrate endurance, life, and cozy tootsies with the \u003cstrong\u003eI'm Glad You Didn't Die, Here's Some Socks Christmas Card\u003c\/strong\u003e. Featuring a beaming mid-century vintage Santa Claus proudly brandishing a fresh pair of knit socks, this design cuts straight through holiday fluff with the ultimate pragmatic greeting: \"I'M GLAD YOU DIDN'T DIE THIS YEAR \/ HERE'S SOME SOCKS.\" Perfect for resilient best friends, sarcastic siblings, close coworkers, and anyone who appreciates practical gifts and dark humor over cheesy seasonal rhymes.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003eSkip generic, mass-produced drugstore lameness for a hilariously blunt holiday tribute guaranteed to claim prime real estate on the mantel. Sized at standard \u003cstrong\u003e5\" x 7\"\u003c\/strong\u003e, each card is professionally printed on premium heavyweight luster cardstock for rich vintage color depth, sharp illustration detail, and a crisp, durable finish. The interior is left completely blank so you can personalize your handwritten messages, inside roasts, or heartfelt survival congratulations, and every card comes complete with a matching white mailing envelope ready for gifting.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003ch3 style=\"color: #F82B2B;\"\u003eFunny Sarcastic Christmas Card \u0026amp; Novelty Holiday Stationery Specifications\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cul\u003e\n  \u003cli\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003eDimensions:\u003c\/strong\u003e 5\" x 7\" folded\u003c\/li\u003e\n  \u003cli\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003eStock:\u003c\/strong\u003e Heavyweight luster cardstock\u003c\/li\u003e\n  \u003cli\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003eInterior:\u003c\/strong\u003e Blank for personalized handwritten messages\u003c\/li\u003e\n  \u003cli\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003eIncludes:\u003c\/strong\u003e Matching mailing envelope\u003c\/li\u003e\n  \u003cli\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003eOccasion:\u003c\/strong\u003e Sarcastic Christmas greetings, funny sibling gifts, coworker exchanges, White Elephant parties\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e","brand":"The Original Underground","offers":[{"title":"Default Title","offer_id":67844765942014,"sku":"GLADYOUDIDNTDIECARD081425","price":4.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0835\/3991\/9102\/files\/Im-Glad-You-Didnt-Die-Heres-Some-Socks_Card_Mock.jpg?v=1792955759"},{"product_id":"whats-up-b-tches-christmas-card","title":"What's Up B-tches Christmas Card","description":"\u003ch2 style=\"color: #FF0000;\"\u003eWhat's Up B--ches Christmas Card: Funny \u0026amp; Rude Holiday Card\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eSubtle winter greetings and wholesome snow-covered cottage scenes do nothing for friends who appreciate zero filter during the holiday season. The \"What's Up B--ches\" Christmas Greeting Card serves as the premier funny holiday card and sarcastic gag gift for cynical coworkers, wild friend groups, and anyone sick of cookie-cutter cheer. Featuring a vintage storybook Santa Claus casually surfing down a snowy slope atop his wooden sleigh with unbothered swagger, this irreverent holiday card delivers unmatched chaotic energy to your annual card exchange.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eA legendary selection for secret Santa exchanges, white elephant parties, or displaying prominently on the holiday mantel, this offensive Christmas card guarantees laughs before the wrapping paper even tears. Professionally printed on premium 5x7 heavyweight luster cardstock, it delivers rich vintage color reproduction and crisp durability. The interior is completely blank, offering ample space to personalize your seasonal roast, recap the year's bad decisions, or deliver warm holiday wishes. Includes a matching white envelope.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003ch3 style=\"color: #FF0000;\"\u003eWhat's Up B--ches Christmas Card Specifications:\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cul\u003e\n  \u003cli\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003eDimensions:\u003c\/strong\u003e 5\" x 7\" (folded)\u003c\/li\u003e\n  \u003cli\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003eMaterial:\u003c\/strong\u003e Heavyweight luster cardstock\u003c\/li\u003e\n  \u003cli\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003eInterior:\u003c\/strong\u003e Blank\u003c\/li\u003e\n  \u003cli\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003eInclusions:\u003c\/strong\u003e Matching white mailing envelope\u003c\/li\u003e\n  \u003cli\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003ePrint:\u003c\/strong\u003e Full-color exterior\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e","brand":"The Original Underground","offers":[{"title":"Default Title","offer_id":67844766105854,"sku":"WHATSUPBITCHESCARD081425","price":4.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0835\/3991\/9102\/files\/Whats-Up-Bitches-Christmas_Card_Mock.jpg?v=1792955761"},{"product_id":"you-aint-getting-sh-t-christmas-card","title":"You Ain't Getting Sh-t Christmas Card","description":"\u003ch2 style=\"color: #FF0000;\"\u003eYou Ain't Getting Sh--t Christmas Card: Funny Vintage Santa Holiday Stationery\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eThe You Ain't Getting Sh--t Christmas Card is a 5\" x 7\" folded holiday greeting card printed on professional luster paper stock. It showcases a classic mid-century illustrated Santa Claus giving a sly wink, contrasted with bold festive typography that bluntly announces: \"You ain't gettin' sh--t.\" Built to replace stale, sappy supermarket greetings, this cheeky stationery delivers unapologetic holiday sarcasm for close friends, siblings, and coworkers who landed squarely on the naughty list this year.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eManufactured on heavyweight greeting card stock, the cover highlights rich reds and warm vintage tones with a smooth, smudge-resistant finish. The interior is left entirely blank, providing ample space to write personalized messages, roasts, or enclose cash and gift cards. Complete with a matching mailing envelope, this holiday card props cleanly on mantels, desks, and shelves for display.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003ch3 style=\"color: #FF0000;\"\u003eYou Ain't Getting Sh--t Christmas Card Specifications:\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cul\u003e\n  \u003cli\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003eDimensions:\u003c\/strong\u003e 5\" x 7\" (folded)\u003c\/li\u003e\n  \u003cli\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003eProduct Type:\u003c\/strong\u003e Folded greeting card\u003c\/li\u003e\n  \u003cli\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003eMaterial:\u003c\/strong\u003e Heavyweight luster cardstock\u003c\/li\u003e\n  \u003cli\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003eInterior:\u003c\/strong\u003e Blank\u003c\/li\u003e\n  \u003cli\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003eIncluded:\u003c\/strong\u003e Matching envelope\u003c\/li\u003e\n  \u003cli\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003eDesign:\u003c\/strong\u003e Retro Santa illustration with \"You ain't gettin' sh--t\" text\u003c\/li\u003e\n  \u003cli\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003eTheme:\u003c\/strong\u003e Holiday \/ humor\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e","brand":"The Original Underground","offers":[{"title":"Default Title","offer_id":67844766499070,"sku":"YOUAINTGETTINGSHITCARD081425","price":4.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0835\/3991\/9102\/files\/You-Aint-Gettin-Shit-Christmas_Card_Mock.jpg?v=1792955766"},{"product_id":"merry-christmas-sh-tter-was-full-greeting-card","title":"Merry Christmas Sh-tter Was Full Greeting Card","description":"\u003ch2 style=\"color: #f82b2b;\"\u003eMerry Christmas Sh-tter Was Full Card: Funny Holiday Movie Pop Culture Stationery\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eWhat better excuse could you possibly offer for rolling up late to the family Christmas gathering? Deliver timeless holiday comedy and unhinged cinematic cheer with the \u003cstrong\u003eMerry Christmas Sh-tter Was Full Greeting Card\u003c\/strong\u003e. Paying tribute to everyone's favorite eccentric in-law, Cousin Eddie, this classic design captures the iconic curbside moment complete with a morning robe, winter trapper hat, cigar, and the unforgettable seasonal greeting: \"MERRY CHRISTMAS! SH--TTER WAS FULL!\" Perfect for holiday movie marathon fans, sarcastic coworkers, and chaotic relatives, it delivers guaranteed belly laughs to anyone who values cult comedy over cheesy sentimental cards.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eSkip generic, mass-produced drugstore lameness in favor of an iconic holiday tribute guaranteed to claim prime real estate on the mantel. Sized at standard \u003cstrong\u003e5\" x 7\"\u003c\/strong\u003e, each card is professionally printed on premium heavyweight luster cardstock for rich visual contrast, crisp details, and a high-quality finish. The interior is left completely blank so you can personalize your holiday greetings, playful party excuses, or seasonal roasts, and every card includes a matching white mailing envelope ready for gifting.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003ch3 style=\"color: #f82b2b;\"\u003eFunny Christmas Vacation Greeting Card \u0026amp; Holiday Stationery Specifications\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003eDimensions:\u003c\/strong\u003e 5\" x 7\" folded\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003eStock:\u003c\/strong\u003e Heavyweight luster cardstock\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003eInterior:\u003c\/strong\u003e Blank for personalized handwritten messages\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003eIncludes:\u003c\/strong\u003e Matching mailing envelope\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003eOccasion:\u003c\/strong\u003e Christmas parties, comedy movie fans, White Elephant exchanges, funny family roasts\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e","brand":"The Original Underground","offers":[{"title":"Default Title","offer_id":67844767940862,"sku":"COUSINEDDIECARD121823","price":4.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0835\/3991\/9102\/files\/Christmas-Vacation-Shitters-Full_Card_Photo.jpg?v=1792955770"},{"product_id":"ho-ho-holy-sh-t-what-a-year-christmas-card","title":"Ho Ho Holy Sh-t, What a Year Christmas Card","description":"\u003ch2 style=\"color: #F82B2B;\"\u003eHo Ho Holy Sh-t, What a Year Card: Sarcastic Holiday Drinking Stationery\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003eHoly sh--t, that was one crazy year! When twelve straight months of nonstop madness finally draw to a close, sometimes the only reasonable response is to pour a stiff glass of bourbon and toast to surviving against all odds. The \u003cstrong\u003eHo Ho Holy Sh-t, What a Year Christmas Card\u003c\/strong\u003e pairs classic vintage holiday nostalgia with hilariously exhausted realism. Featuring a weary yet smiling Santa Claus kicking back at the bar with a tumbler of whiskey and a full bottle of bourbon, this design boldly declares: \"HO HO HOLY SH--T \/ WHAT A YEAR.\" Perfect for overworked coworkers, long-suffering friends, chaotic siblings, and drinking buddies, it delivers immediate comedic solidarity across the holiday season.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003eSkip boring, mass-produced drugstore lameness for an honest seasonal greeting guaranteed to claim prime real estate on the mantel or home bar. Sized at standard \u003cstrong\u003e5\" x 7\"\u003c\/strong\u003e, each card is professionally printed on premium heavyweight luster cardstock for rich holiday color depth, warm painterly detail, and a crisp, durable finish. The interior is left completely blank so you can personalize your year-in-review roasts, heartfelt survival wishes, or hopeful toasts for better days ahead, and every card includes a matching white mailing envelope ready for gifting.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003ch3 style=\"color: #F82B2B;\"\u003eFunny Holiday Drinking Card \u0026amp; Novelty Christmas Stationery Specifications\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cul\u003e\n  \u003cli\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003eDimensions:\u003c\/strong\u003e 5\" x 7\" folded\u003c\/li\u003e\n  \u003cli\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003eStock:\u003c\/strong\u003e Heavyweight luster cardstock\u003c\/li\u003e\n  \u003cli\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003eInterior:\u003c\/strong\u003e Blank for personalized handwritten messages\u003c\/li\u003e\n  \u003cli\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003eIncludes:\u003c\/strong\u003e Matching mailing envelope\u003c\/li\u003e\n  \u003cli\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003eOccasion:\u003c\/strong\u003e Sarcastic Christmas greetings, New Year's toasts, coworker exchanges, White Elephant parties\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e","brand":"The Original Underground","offers":[{"title":"Default Title","offer_id":67844768104702,"sku":"HOHOHOLYSHITCARD081425","price":4.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0835\/3991\/9102\/files\/Ho-Ho-Holy-Shit-What-a-Year_Card_Mock_d7505c4c-224c-4df0-bfea-c03c8e1e3860.jpg?v=1792955772"},{"product_id":"ted-bundy-christmas-card","title":"Ted Bundy Christmas Card","description":"\u003ch2 style=\"color: #FF0000;\"\u003eTed Bundy Christmas Greeting Card: Morbid True Crime Holiday Humor\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eForget sugar cookies and forced seasonal warmth—some holidays call for pure, unadulterated shock value. The Ted Bundy \"Your Gift Is in the Trunk\" Christmas Card flips festive cheer into pitch-black absurdity. Featuring the notorious true-crime figure donning a jaunty Santa hat, this deadpan design trades traditional holiday sentimentality for twisted dark comedy. It is the ultimate season's greeting for true-crime junkies, morbid podcast obsessives, and friends who prefer sinister laughs over generic winter wonderland clichés.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003ePrinted on rigid, heavyweight luster stock, the high-contrast cover is guaranteed to stand out among the boring family photo cards on the mantle. The interior is left completely blank, giving you full control to pen your own unhinged holiday greetings or remind them to keep the car doors locked. Each card includes a matching white mailing envelope, ready to deliver macabre holiday spirit straight to their mailbox.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003ch3 style=\"color: #FF0000;\"\u003eTed Bundy Christmas Card Specifications:\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cul\u003e\n  \u003cli\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003eDimensions:\u003c\/strong\u003e 5\" x 7\" (folded)\u003c\/li\u003e\n  \u003cli\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003eMaterial:\u003c\/strong\u003e Heavyweight luster cardstock\u003c\/li\u003e\n  \u003cli\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003eInterior:\u003c\/strong\u003e Blank\u003c\/li\u003e\n  \u003cli\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003eInclusions:\u003c\/strong\u003e Matching white mailing envelope\u003c\/li\u003e\n  \u003cli\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003ePrint:\u003c\/strong\u003e Full-color exterior\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e","brand":"The Original Underground","offers":[{"title":"Default Title","offer_id":67844768268542,"sku":"TEDBUNDYXMASCARD090921","price":3.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0835\/3991\/9102\/files\/ted-bundy-christmas-card-856103.jpg?v=1792955777"}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0835\/3991\/9102\/collections\/Im-Glad-You-Didnt-Die-Heres-Some-Socks_Card_Mock.jpg?v=1792956451","url":"https:\/\/happyveteran.net\/collections\/christmas-cards.oembed","provider":"Happy Veteran","version":"1.0","type":"link"}